You write a lot about making others feel safe, including bosses. Why would it ever be a subordinate’s responsibility to make their boss feel “safe”? The power dynamic already places the superior in a position of safety. Bosses should already have training to effectively take feedback from those beneath them in the corporate hierarchy without needing their ego fluffed first.
I’m struggling with a longstanding, unresolved issue with my father-in-law. For years I’ve tried to have a Crucial Conversation with him, but he refuses to engage and I’m at a loss for how to move forward. I don’t want a relationship without resolution. My husband is loving and supportive, but we both tend to avoid conflict, and even thinking about this struggle affects our motivation and wellbeing. What should I do?
How do you respond when someone labels or insults people for voting for a specific candidate—for example, implying they’re immoral or unintelligent? This approach often shuts down discussion and discourages people from speaking up to avoid conflict.
My fifteen-year-old daughter and my husband are constantly at each other. He tells her to clean her room, and she doesn’t. He asks her to help around the house, she snaps. Then he retaliates. She talks angrily, and when I point this out, she responds with, “That’s how I talk!” He says she’s rude and disrespectful, and she says the same about him. Both feel disrespected, and it’s like they hate each other. She wants to move out when she turns sixteen, and I’m scared for her. The same thing happened with my first daughter when I was in another relationship. What can I do?
I’ve made so many bad choices in the past that I’m in prison now. I love my daughter, and she is really hurt and angry with me. How do I build a relationship with her?
I have a coworker that I just can’t stand. He is good at his job, but I struggle to get along with him because he’s so opinionated and narrow-minded. He has an opinion about everything and can’t fathom any other viewpoint. I’d rather go to the dentist than be in a meeting with him. What am I supposed to do? Should I have a conversation with him about it or just let it go?
How do you keep working with members in your team when they verbally attack you and management doesn’t advocate for you or validate the incident? I literally feel a panic attack coming on when I know I will be in a meeting with a certain person.
I hear lots of talk—and see lots of evidence—about how divisive the world is becoming. I hate to admit it, but I know I’m part of the problem. I feel an embarrassing amount of satisfaction when a comedian lands a great joke about a political party whose tenets I despise. And if I’m honest, I feel disgust toward people who hold certain positions opposite my own. I know I probably should feel more tolerant, but I don’t really want to. What would you say to me?
I have taken your course, but I’ve hit a wall. A coworker comes into my office, closes the door and starts talking about her husband, cat, children, etc. How do I tell her I don’t want to discuss this with her?
The political climate feels overwhelming, and I often hear strong opinions at work that don’t align with mine. I value Crucial Conversations and know the skills can help, but I also feel vulnerable and unsure whether discussion of politics belongs in the workplace. Is it okay to stay silent without damaging relationships or credibility? How do I find the right balance between authenticity and self-protection?
