I have a coworker who dominates nearly every conversation. She is outspoken, brash, and often has no filter. Sometimes the things she says are uncomfortably candid. I don’t think she is a bad person, but I often find myself drained after speaking with her. How should I approach this?
I am a consultant and I frequently have clients who try to get more from me than originally agreed upon in a statement of work. This is always difficult to navigate, and I’m not sure how to do so without having problems so I usually just step up and do the work—but at a cost to me. How can I resolve these situations?
Dear Crucial Skills, What advice can you give to a group after someone popular has been let go and there is dissent and frustration? I am not permitted to share the reasons for the decision to let this employee go, and it wasn’t my decision to make, but how do I help my team deal …
My 14-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes last year and we are always fighting in the home about her sugar levels and eating habits. She screams and shouts and blames us for everything. I try to be firm and not give in to her tantrums, but my husband is disgusted with her and speaks ill of her. I want her to see a therapist, he says she’s a lost cause. This breaks my heart. What can I do?
I recently read Joseph Grenny’s HBR article about being resilient in the face of harsh criticism. His insight was this: look for the grain of truth in feedback and you’ll increase your resiliency. Well, what if there isn’t a “grain of truth?” What if it isn’t feedback, but bullying? Bullies are adept at finding real or perceived weakness in others and exploiting it. In this case, it is not the “weakness” that is the problem, and searching for a “grain of truth” would empower the bully. What is the best way to deal with this?
What is the best way to respond to someone who has the habit of dominating conversations? My colleague will not let me finish my sentences, interrupts with an opinion or comment, talks at great length, and often repeats what she already said. I feel hostage to her while she hogs the airwaves. What can I do?
A few months ago, while I was out of town, a colleague aired his grievances against me in a meeting with our new CEO. Two others joined in. This colleague previously reported to me, then was promoted to be my peer. He has been a contentious bully ever since, badmouthing me behind my back. When I returned from my trip, I was called into a meeting with the new CEO and the three who have issues with me. I was blindsided by their allegations. I pushed back very little but have since been stewing to the point of depression. Where should I go from here?
In 1998, my colleagues and I, swept up in the excitement and uncertainty of the dot-com boom, sold our small company to a firm that was madly acquiring training companies with interesting intellectual property. Within two years, the rocket ship we boarded crashed into reality. Suddenly a decade of my life’s work was locked up in a complex bankruptcy. I felt paralyzed and disoriented. For months I was unable to earn money to support my young family, and I suspected everything I had worked for was gone forever. That bankruptcy was a crucial event.
A member of the team I lead is convinced he’s an excellent worker, top performer, and unfairly overlooked for a promotion. The problem is none of that is true, but he refuses to accept this. He sometimes does great work but is inconsistent. He’s also often nowhere to be found, for hours at a time. How do I hold him accountable when his self-perception is so wildly different from reality? I ask all the right questions, but we still go in circles when we talk with me pointing out weaknesses and him claiming perfection.
I have been a legal secretary to a lawyer for more than 18 months. She used to stay on top of things, but recently she has become unmotivated and unresponsive. For example, I prepare letters for her review and deliver them early in the morning, but she doesn’t review them until 30 minutes before I’m due to leave the office, and then she wants me to get the letters sent out. I work full-time and have four children, and I have told her on several occasions that I cannot get letters finished that late in the day as I need to leave. I’ve tried letting her know early in the day what time I will be leaving and the deadline for getting letters to me, yet she continues to send requests at the last minute and then becomes snippy when I tell her I won’t get them done until the next day. I don’t know how to deal with her lack of motivation. What can I do?
