Repairing Family Relationships from Prison
I’ve made so many bad choices in the past that I’m in prison now. I love my daughter, and she is really hurt and angry with me. How do I build a relationship with her?
Posts by Joseph Grenny
Why Good People Do Bad Things
I hear lots of talk—and see lots of evidence—about how divisive the world is becoming. I hate to admit it, but I know I’m part of the problem. I feel an embarrassing amount of satisfaction when a comedian lands a great joke about a political party whose tenets I despise. And if I’m honest, I feel disgust toward people who hold certain positions opposite my own. I know I probably should feel more tolerant, but I don’t really want to. What would you say to me?
Helping a Loved One through Grief
My brother is sixty-one and lost his wife ten months ago. He has now bottomed out. I have no idea how to help him. I listen, say what I can. I think he would benefit from grief counseling. He seems to be unable to move forward. He has no children. Is there anything I can do?
When You Disrespect and Dislike Your Boss
I don’t respect my boss as a leader. I know he has his own struggles, but I just don’t like him as a leader. I am fully aware of and even ashamed of my bad behavior. I like my job and my position, but I can’t stand him. What do you recommend? I am the worst version of myself when I interact with him.
Rebuilding Trust with Hurt Loved Ones
Last year I developed a severe drinking problem that negatively affected both my kids, especially my nine-year-old son. He stayed with his dad while I was in rehab. I’m clean and sober now, but he still won’t stay with me, and I’m crushed by this. How can I rebuild trust with him?
When You Have Old Conflict with Your New Manager
Dear Crucial Skills, I have a new supervisor (recently promoted) and we have a difficult history. Previously she trained me, but her training was inadequate, she overloaded me with work, she demanded I complete assignments faster and faster, and she said I was making excuses if I couldn’t. Tomorrow, we have our first one-on-one and …
Responding to Someone Who Dominates the Conversation
I have a coworker who dominates nearly every conversation. She is outspoken, brash, and often has no filter. Sometimes the things she says are uncomfortably candid. I don’t think she is a bad person, but I often find myself drained after speaking with her. How should I approach this?
How to Set and Hold Boundaries with Clients
I am a consultant and I frequently have clients who try to get more from me than originally agreed upon in a statement of work. This is always difficult to navigate, and I’m not sure how to do so without having problems so I usually just step up and do the work—but at a cost to me. How can I resolve these situations?
Addressing Your Team When Someone Has Been Let Go
Dear Crucial Skills, What advice can you give to a group after someone popular has been let go and there is dissent and frustration? I am not permitted to share the reasons for the decision to let this employee go, and it wasn’t my decision to make, but how do I help my team deal …
Helping Your Child Manage Diabetes: A Key to Behavior Change
My 14-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes last year and we are always fighting in the home about her sugar levels and eating habits. She screams and shouts and blames us for everything. I try to be firm and not give in to her tantrums, but my husband is disgusted with her and speaks ill of her. I want her to see a therapist, he says she’s a lost cause. This breaks my heart. What can I do?