Justin’s bio
Dear Crucial Skills, How do you deal with sensitive employees who become overly emotional when held accountable? Signed,Tiptoeing Dear Tiptoeing, This is such a challenge! It’s the main reason people don’t hold others accountable—because they become emotional and defensive. Two questions I want to address: When I teach or coach leaders, I find that many …
As a manager, how can I prepare to have a Crucial Conversation about someone’s performance, especially when that person feels they are doing brilliant work and I think differently?
I am a very direct individual. I struggle to work with anyone who is not direct, who is conflict-avoidant, and who does not speak up to ensure we work together effectively. Trying to make it safe for people like this feels like coddling and a waste of time. I think it’s good to learn skills to speak up, but I don’t see the benefit in placating to people who are insecure or introverted or both. Am I missing something?
We’re all aware of the benefits of knowledge. We’ve come to know that knowledge is power, and education has an immense impact. But I’ve concluded that, when it comes to teaching and training others, there is a downside to knowledge.
Dear Crucial Skills, I have a coworker that I just can’t stand. He is good at his job, but I struggle to get along with him because he is so opinionated and narrow-minded. He has an opinion about everything and can’t fathom any other viewpoint. I’d rather go to the dentist than be in a …
My supervisor says that she uses the skills taught in Crucial Conversations. However, she always starts a “Crucial Conversation” by being abrasive and making false accusations. She will say she is seeking the truth through dialogue, but then she sticks to her false accusations and disregards attempts to shed light on the matter. I now have a horrible impression of Crucial Conversations, but something tells me she must not be using the process correctly. What am I missing?
As many of you know, on Tuesday we’ll launch a new version of our Influencer course, now called Crucial Influence. The materials, the videos, and the instructional design all have a new look, but the changes go deeper than style. During the development, I spent many hours diving into the most credible social science research …
Dear Crucial Skills, Each day I plan to complete three major tasks, three thirty-minute tasks, and a few five- to ten-minute tasks. I can squeeze in some five- to ten-minute tasks in between my major tasks, but now my thirty-minute tasks have piled up because they never make it to the top of my list. …
Each month we receive dozens of questions from readers earnestly seeking advice on how to handle some of the toughest problems in their lives. Last week I was reading over the questions and noticed that many shared a theme: defensiveness. Almost everyone was dealing with someone who, in their eyes, was VERY defensive, and they didn’t know how to talk to them, influence them, or help them. So I’d like to share what we know about defensive behavior and how you can respond to it.
What can you do if you’ve had successful Crucial Conversations with the same person several times but the behavior persists? We discuss the issues, the conversation goes well, but they never change. How should I handle the next Crucial Conversation, which may be around the corner?
