What do you do when the people who report to you seem uncomfortable in your presence? I do my best to create an open atmosphere and yet people seem guarded. There is a lot of fake smiling and handshaking going on. Worst of all, I’m suspicious that the people who work for me aren’t sharing their honest views. Sometimes I get the feeling that they’re telling me what they think I want to hear. And yet, I can’t figure out what I’ve done to create this unhealthy tension.

Dear Crucial Skills, I am the first to admit that I do not well during Crucial Conversations—especially if the person I am having the conversation with gets angry. I immediately go silent. Then I hold my true feelings inside until I can’t stand it any longer and I let my own stories out, usually causing …

Dear Crucial Skills, Sometimes I look at the possibility of holding a Crucial Conversation and wonder if it’s really worth it. I know that the other person isn’t likely to change and that he or she may become upset with me—maybe even try to get even with me—so overall it looks too risky to speak …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR   Joseph Grenny is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, You talk a lot about “Making It Safe” by helping people know you respect them. What if you don’t? My manager is manipulative and deceitful, and I despise her. So, …