My manger recently told me that another leader said this about me: “her nationality shows by her bluntness in meetings.” I was told this as feedback but wasn’t given any specific examples. While I am open to constructive feedback and want to improve, I’m very hurt by this comment. This is particularly hurtful because I work for an organization that prides itself on being diverse and inclusive. I also ask myself: What would the feedback be if I were of a different nationality? Or if I were male? Or what would I hear if I were a director or a VP rather than a manager? How do I respond to this feedback? Right now, I feel hurt. I welcome your insight
Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue Posts
I’m in a relationship where I find myself constantly apologizing and I’m starting to feel like a doormat. Do you have any advice?
My mom continuously interrupts me when I’m speaking to her. She’ll sometimes finish my sentences, as if she knows what I’m thinking. Or she’ll start in with something that occurred to her based on something I’ve said. I’ve asked her to please allow me to finish and explained that when she interrupts, I feel disrespected. She didn’t take it well. Since then, I’ve sometimes gently reminded her, “Please, let me finish” and sometimes not so gently said, “How do you know what happened next?” Sometimes I just give up and let her do all the talking. She doesn’t seem to notice that our relationship is becoming, well, not much of a relationship. Any suggestions?
I’m a new member on a team. I find that when I wish my teammates good morning, they do not respond. Since I’m new and trying to learn, I occasionally ask questions of one of my teammates. When I do, she typically responds, “Go ask so-and-so,” rather than helping me. Another teammate cuts me off when I ask questions. I am unable to finish my question or ask clarifying questions. I need help communicating with this team. Any suggestions?
Dear Crucial Skills, The committee at my church seems not to be listening to the concerns congregants are raising. They either minimize them, or do not to respond to them. I believe the committee is moving too quickly with proposals, and congregants have not understood them and in the end will likely be unwilling to …
I work in the agricultural industry as a sales rep. Sometimes I must go out to a customer when a product has not met their expectations. I just started reading Crucial Conversations, and I also have Crucial Confrontations. Any areas I should focus on to better handle these situations?
My puppy was brutally attacked by our neighbor’s pit bull. My pup survived, but I soon learned from other neighbors that this was the fifth attack in the neighborhood by this pit bull. I decided to press charges in hopes of improving neighborhood safety…
How do you start over with a colleague who does not like you, does not want to talk with you or work with you, and has gone out of their way to try to make you look bad on several occasions? I stopped speaking to this person six months ago, but I’d like to try to rebuild trust with this person. How do I even begin?
I’m trying to establish a strictly professional working relationship with my supervisor. I like to have boundaries to limit my personal involvement, but my supervisor wants to have conversations about weekend plans, vacation updates, and so on. They also continually talk with me and my coworkers about their health challenges and medical details. This makes me uncomfortable. I’ve shared my feelings about their behavior, but things have not changed. How do I respectfully share my communication preferences?
How do you ask someone “What is your problem with me?” without prompting a blowup or defensive behavior?