Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue Posts

How Can I Get My Husband to Treat Me as Well as I Treat Him?

Whenever my husband tells me things he doesn’t like that I do, I own it, say I’m sorry, and tell him I am determined to change it. If even ten minutes later I tell him I don’t like something he does, he’ll reply, “We really need to stop criticizing each other!”

I would appreciate it if he would own his behavior and validate my perspective, like I did for him. I feel like I’m trying to do what’s required to have a good relationship, but he doesn’t. What can I do?

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Why People Get Defensive and What You Can Do about It

Each month we receive dozens of questions from readers earnestly seeking advice on how to handle some of the toughest problems in their lives. Last week I was reading over the questions and noticed that many shared a theme: defensiveness. Almost everyone was dealing with someone who, in their eyes, was VERY defensive, and they didn’t know how to talk to them, influence them, or help them. So I’d like to share what we know about defensive behavior and how you can respond to it.

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My Adult Daughter is Severely Overweight. What Can I Do?

I have a 38-year-old daughter who is severely overweight and doesn’t want to hear anything about the issue. She shops doctors and has subscribed to the “anti-diet” philosophy, which I can see some value in. However, she has taken this philosophy into the realm of cultism. I do not know what to do. It is ruining her life. Please help me. Typical psychology experts have been no help to this point.

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How to Talk to Someone about Their Poor Hygiene

We have been avoiding an employee’s hygiene issue for a while now. He usually works from home, but occasionally he works onsite, and he has long fingernails and stains on his shirt—too unkempt for our bakery stores. We are the owners and have read Crucial Conversations, and yet we don’t know when and how to bring this up. Most of our interactions happen via video, and when we’re together in person we often don’t have privacy. Any suggestions?

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How to Handle a Personal Judgment

My manger recently told me that another leader said this about me: “her nationality shows by her bluntness in meetings.” I was told this as feedback but wasn’t given any specific examples. While I am open to constructive feedback and want to improve, I’m very hurt by this comment. This is particularly hurtful because I work for an organization that prides itself on being diverse and inclusive. I also ask myself: What would the feedback be if I were of a different nationality? Or if I were male? Or what would I hear if I were a director or a VP rather than a manager? How do I respond to this feedback? Right now, I feel hurt. I welcome your insight

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