Dear Scott, I am in the process of training a coworker. When I give her an assignment, she gives me a snarky reason why she can’t do it. I have been trying to help her with time-management. When I give reasons for what I am asking, she says I’m mothering her or attacking her. I …
Dear Joseph, What had the biggest impact on you writing Crucial Conversations? Signed, Backstory Dear Backstory, Thanks for asking! Your question gave me a chance to walk down memory lane. The Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Looking back, I can see experiences that …
Dear Justin, In our organization we are meeting more than ever but our meeting effectiveness is down dramatically. The issues we see include: No clear direction Too much time spent ranting or venting Less listening and more talking Stuff not getting done How do we get to effective and efficient meetings while also caring for …
Dear Emily, I am a single adult woman who wants to do her work and work well with others. However, because of my single status, my workplace culture, and local culture, my sense of self-worth is getting bruised. For example, a number of male colleagues have explicitly told me that they are “just being nice” …
Dear Joseph, I have a dear male friend. We are romantically involved in a long-distance relationship across different time zones. Our main means of communication are texting and phone, or video talking. We usually talk one to two hours a day—late at night for him, and after work for me. However, our conversations often turn …
Dear Emily, I have been living with my roommate and good friend for a couple of years now. We have had several trust issues in the past but have been able to resolve them after long and emotional conversations. However, recently she broke my trust and I don’t want to fix the friendship. That said, …
Dear Steve, What do you do when respect is violated time and time again? I have revisited mutual purpose with a peer, but we always end up in the same loop: I feel disrespected and dialogue comes to “a screeching halt.” Because of the disrespect, I go to silence and remain there. What do you …
Dear Joseph, How can I ask the higher-ups in my organization to “step up” their game? Their lack of ambition limits my career development because there are no real opportunities for me to take on more responsibilities. My higher-ups are pretty laid back. In fact, I hesitate to use the word “lazy,” but that would …
Dear Scott, I have an 11-year-old son who is struggling and I don’t know what to do. We recently relocated overseas, far from home and family and friends. Then the COVID-19 restrictions hit. My boy’s behavior changed significantly. He is always angry and frustrated. I’ve tried to keep him busy in sports and music, but …
Dear Justin, How do I ask for clarification of my role and responsibilities? It’s difficult to manage my time and expectations when my responsibilities are unclear and additional duties pop up at the last minute. This leaves me with multiple projects undone and stretched too thin, and yet I’m working 10- to 18-hour days. I …
