Crucial Influence Posts

Breaking Through the Status Quo

Dear David, How do you respond to someone who states, “But we’ve always done it this way,” as a response to change? My experience tells me that it’s a comfort-level response that says, “I really don’t understand what you are suggesting.” Progress is crucial for success but when the people who drive progress don’t understand …

Turn Gender Bias into Influence

Gender bias is a reality in today’s workplace. Here’s just one example: A recent study by VitalSmarts revealed that women’s perceived competency drops by 35 percent and their perceived worth by more than $15,000 when they are equally as assertive or forceful as their male counterparts. Keep in mind that assertive men are also punished, …

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How to Change a Friend’s Behavior

Dear Steve, How do I convince a colleague that her preconceived assumptions are producing the negative responses she expects? When we travel together, she assumes people in the travel and service industries are incompetent and unmotivated. She believes that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and that airlines, taxi companies, restaurants, etc., are …

Stuck Between Management and the Front Lines

Dear David, I work in a unionized workplace. I have great respect for unions and the intent of protecting frontline workers. However, once you are no longer considered a frontline employee you no longer have union rights/representation. This can create a pocket of employees, foremen in this case, that are not executive leadership, but are …

Influencing an Unfaithful Spouse

Dear Joseph, I recently married a person who told me he is a recovering sex addict. I believe he is really trying to change his ways and is a good man. However, over the past couple of months, he has started to lie again, sent inappropriate text messages to women, and may have had an …

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How to Save a Stagnant Career

Dear David, What should I do if I believe I have reached my “peak” in my company and professional growth is stagnant? I posed this question to HR and managers only to receive dull feedback, which makes me feel they have no ideas or suggestions. I suggested I earn another bachelor’s degree in a field …

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Living with a Hoarder?

Dear David, My husband and I have been together for about five years. While I noticed his tendency for piles around his own place prior to our marriage, this propensity has gotten much worse since we have been married. I’m no neatnik, but there is an uncomfortable level of clutter in our home; I have …

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Leadership Lessons from Ex-Cons

The biggest impediment to success is rarely a lack of ideas or strategies—it’s an inability to influence people to carry out those ideas or strategies. In others words, it’s a failure of leadership. Leadership is intentional influence. It is a systematic process of influencing the behavior of others in order to achieve important results. If …

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How to Help Others Help Themselves

Dear Joseph, Our twenty-five-year old son is living on his own for the first time. He has a good-paying job but still lives paycheck to paycheck and frequently borrows money from us. We have bailed him out a number of times and just can’t do it anymore. He has asked if he could move back …

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