How do you ask someone “What is your problem with me?” without prompting a blowup or defensive behavior?

It seems to me the Crucial Conversations skills presume a degree of privilege not afforded to many, that they work best if you’re in a position of power.

My boss loves to talk and gets very personal when she does. I’m not comfortable hearing what she shares with me, nor do I have the time for it.

How do you deal with someone that you KNOW is lying to you? I have numerous examples and clear evidence of the lies, and I have confronted each lie, but they continue to do it. I don’t have the option of walking away. What next?

I frequently find myself in Crucial Conversations with someone who is disrespectful and demeaning towards me. I have tried the strategy of apologizing for any wrongs I may have committed, but this person is only willing to talk if I take full responsibility for every wrong they feel I’ve committed and then do things exactly their way. This seems unfair. What can I do?

What is the root cause for people to choose silence rather than to verbalize what they want or need from others? Why would they avoid having a Crucial Conversation at the expense of what they need?

Recently I was teaching Crucial Conversations to a group and we were practicing how to establish psychological safety when one of the learners asked, “What should you do if you don’t feel safe during a conversation?” I muddled through a response but I’m not sure I really answered the question. The course teaches us how to help others feel psychologically safe during a Crucial Conversation, but what should you do if you feel psychologically unsafe?

I have a few people on my team that can’t take feedback. They aren’t bad employees, but when I try to give them constructive feedback they curl up in an emotional ball. I even had an employee walk out of the room and go home for the day because they couldn’t handle the feedback. I wasn’t firing them or even putting them on a performance plan. My friends tell me to chalk it up to sensitive “Millennials” and “Zoomers.” It’s true that many of them are junior members of the team, and I’m not sure what to do.

I have a domineering boss who micromanages everything I do. He has no filter when speaking to me and often is just outright rude. Whenever I send out a piece of work, he finds fault with it and tries to undermine my confidence. Having read online about his characteristics, I truly believe he suffers from narcissism. The sad fact is that he gets results and senior management love him, so he is untouchable. How can I deal with this aside from leaving the company?

I’m a great fan of your work, in particular Crucial Conversations. One thing I am struggling with, however, is how to practice these skills before applying them in a really Crucial Conversation. As all skills go, they need a certain level of mastery before you can rely on them when things get out of hand. What do you recommend?