September 23, 2018 Brian Wansink, a researcher we reference in our book Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change and corresponding training course, has come under intense scrutiny this year. We want to share our perspective on the different critiques Brian has received. We use Brian’s research as one, among many examples to demonstrate different …
Dear David, I was in a business relationship where it became apparent that the managing partner no longer saw my contributions as valuable. I had watched this partner gun for others in the past and “transition” them out of the company. Now her sights were set on me. So, before things got nasty, I devised …
Dear David, Help! I have a temper. I lose it in public and community meetings. I say bitter things and make accusations that I come to regret. It’s not that I have my facts wrong. It’s that I get that burning, buzzing rage that causes me to state my facts in fury. My wife says …
I recently did something hurtful to a family member. Shortly afterward, I said I was sorry but the person didn’t seem to accept my apology. I’ve tried to reach out but they are giving me a bit of a “cold shoulder.” They still seem bugged about what I did. I feel like I’ve done my part and now it’s up to them to accept the apology. Should I be looking at this differently?
Dear Steve, I am mentoring an individual who is in a supervisory position. She is very forthright with her direction and criticism of those under her. She has a good relationship with most of the people she works with, but those with soft-spoken personalities often accuse her of bullying. I have known this person for …
Dear David, I think you missed part of the question that Fed Up posted a while back. As I understood it, Fed Up also asked how to deal with self-centered coworkers (bosses as well as cohorts, team members, and subordinates) whose conversations and discussions are based on I, me, or my. Can you address that? …
Dear Justin, I recently read your post about the person who is overcommitted. You suggested ways for him to manage his to-do list. I think they’re really helpful ideas. But what about those of us on the other end of that relationship? I work with a group of great, creative, and intelligent people, but they …
Dear Emily, Our company was recently acquired and I was asked to be on the transition team to merge the two companies. This project required that I work with several members of the parent company throughout the weekend and late into the night. I was trying my best to be chummy and start the relationship …
Dear Joseph, How do you have a crucial conversation when someone pulls rank and shuts down dialogue by saying something like, “Because I’m the boss!”? I’m in a situation where I would like to discuss better solutions, but when I do, the other person uses her authority to stop the conversation. Signed, Powerless Dear Powerless, …
Dear Justin, I feel like our current discussions of politics and social issues are so divisive. I struggle to engage with them and frankly, I disagree with many of them—even when they are the opinions of my friends, family, and neighbors. It’s hard for me to understand how people can have the opinions they have. …
