Dear Steve, Recently, I was turned down for a promotion to director. My boss said the decision was made by the others involved in the interview process. She said that had they recommended me for the position, she would have promoted me. I later initiated a crucial conversation with her. I felt she didn’t take …

Dear David, I am a long-time volunteer and employee for a small, nonprofit organization. Recently, we got a new Executive Director and his management style is very challenging. I am the director of Learning and Education and previously planned all learning events. The new ED has created learning events of his own, but does not …

Dear Joseph, Four years ago, I gave my savings to my brother, so he could open a business. I was hesitant because he has a temper and communicating with him can be tricky, but I went ahead. My mother-in-law also invested. Recently, I wanted my brother to repay some of the money, but asking for …

Dear Joseph, We are headed for our first nursing strike. Employees are heartbroken at the situation. Patients and families are concerned about the quality of care with contingent workers on site, and long-term relationships are being fractured by the decision to picket or work. I continue to hope that we’ll rely on what unites us—doing …

Dear Joseph, I attend a church with a small congregation. One of our members sings at the top of her lungs and is very much off key. Always. She overpowers the rest of us. I have witnessed people plugging an ear or intentionally sitting farther away. It seems that something could or should be said …

Dear Justin, I believe in the Crucial Conversations skills and I’ve seen them work. But sometimes, no matter what I seem to do, I get poor results. People still get offended, dig their heels in, etc. What should I do if the other person doesn’t want to change his or her behavior—or even dialogue with …

Dear Joseph, What responsibility does the receiver of an apology have in the healing of deep-seated hurt? I have felt alienated from my brother for eight years. We had a blowup (no one really remembers what it was about). He said some words that cut deeply into me. Then a couple of years later he …

Dear Steve, My husband and I have had a communication problem for years—due, I think, to our different communication styles. I crave active conversations, yet he prefers I remain silent and listen any time he has an issue he wants to tell me about. When I begin to talk during what I feel should be …

Dear Joseph, My father often peppers his speech with declarations like “Obama is a Marxist” or “Eighty percent of Americans don’t pay taxes.” I can sometimes leave the conversation and look up details of what he calls “facts,” but in the moment I don’t have any tangible information; just a deep-rooted intuition that he is …

Dear Emily, I like to think of myself as someone who knows how to have crucial conversations. I’ve read Crucial Conversations, attended the training, and recently, I became a certified trainer for my organization. However, I can never seem to make headway with my teenage daughter. We disagree about almost everything—when homework should be done, …