Dear Crucial Skills,
The political climate feels overwhelming, and I often hear strong opinions at work that don’t align with mine. I value Crucial Conversations and know the skills can help, but I also feel vulnerable and unsure whether discussion of politics belongs in the workplace. Can I stay silent without damaging relationships or credibility? How do I find the right balance between authenticity and self-preservation?
Signed,
Apprehensive
Dear Apprehensive,
Various studies suggest that most organizations don’t have a formal policy about talking politics at work. So, odds are good it’s allowed in your workplace—but that doesn’t mean it’s welcomed or productive. If you’re in a setting where political talk is happening, here are a few principles to consider.
Know When to Say When
Your ability to contribute meaningfully to your organization doesn’t depend on your political opinions being known. If you’d rather not talk about politics at work, don’t. It’s more than okay to set a boundary. Try something simple like:
“These topics are important to me, and I do have opinions about them—but I’d rather not talk about them at work.”
You’re not being a coward. You’re being thoughtful.
Add a Dose of Uncertainty
If you choose to engage in political conversations, avoid phrases like “the fact of the matter is…” or “no reasonable person would believe that…” Those are quick ways to shut down dialogue and alienate others.
Certainty is often the enemy of learning. The more convinced you are that you’re right, the less you’ll listen, the less you’ll learn, and the less respectful you’ll be. If you’re going to talk politics, express your own views and beliefs with a degree of uncertainty.
Seek to Learn, Not to Win
Too many people walk into political conversations trying to prove a point or straighten someone out. But if your intent is to teach or triumph, it will come through in your tone, your body language, and your words, and you’re likely to provoke conflict. Instead, enter the conversations with a curious mind to see what you can learn.
Ask Questions
When someone shares an opinion you find repulsive, resist the urge to change their mind. Try to understand them. What shaped their viewpoint? What have they read or experienced? Ask these questions and listen intently. Curiosity isn’t weakness—it’s a sign of strength. It suggests you are secure enough to hear viewpoints contrary to your own without feeling threatened. You might find yourself learning something new, or at least gaining some sympathy for a different perspective.
Share Confidently, Not Arrogantly
Use language like:
- “In my experience…”
- “I believe that…”
- “From my point of view…”
You don’t need to drop the mic. It’s a conversation, not a conversion.
The bottom line: Protect yourself if you need to, but don’t confuse silence with wisdom or boldness with aggression. The best political conversations are grounded in respect, curiosity, and a willingness to understand and connect.
All excellent points, Justin, and definitely appreciated. There are times when politics have surfaced during a work conversation, and while I provide no voice to my opinions, my face is a dead giveaway. My inside voice is screaming, “why would a reasonable and rational person…”? Suffice it to say, there is still work for me to do.
These are excellent points relevant for a time period and political context that does not involve evil. However, when evil is occurring around us, self-authenticity and self-preservation are no longer the only values to guide our behavior. Showing compassion for others and standing for truth and justice are required. Even at work.
If I witness or know of employees being violently dragged away by ICE, or the company making decisions that damages human life and cause suffering, staying silent is assenting. Unfortunately, politics affects everything, including our workplaces, and we cannot escape it. Sometimes our livelihood will be at stake because we have chosen the morally courageous course to speak up and advocate for our nation to be a democracy and not a dictatorship.
We are currently living through seismic events in America that demands more than asking others questions to better understand their views. Why a fellow employee supports the disappearing of people of color and the deporting of them to El Salvador, to a prison (concentration camp) where prisoners are tortured and don’t ever leave, may help me better understand them. However, is my only goal to connect with this particular employee? What if more Americans were speaking up everywhere, including at their work – with thoughtful, respectful, and bold language that asserts, “I believe in due process for all, which is a part of our Constitution. And immigrants are being scapegoated and demonized by this administration, which is morally wrong.”
The current political climate in the U.S. has forced each one of us to make a choice, will we be silent or will we speak up. We all need to be a part of a communal pressure to stop these evil policies and atrocities. Some day future generations will ask each one of us, what did we say and do in this time of moral testing?
Your colleagues are the people you meet more often. In my opinion it is Ok to engage in a healthy politics outside working hours like at tea/lunch breaks and on weekends if you spend time with your colleagues. However, I do agree with Hale that “It’s a conversation, not a conversion.” and make it safe because ” you can almost always talk about anything if you can make it safe “- the very core of Crucial Conversation.
My husband was formerly at a company with a work culture that affected him very negatively. Most of that was due to his immediate supervisor, but some of it was due to the political culture of the majority (at least, the majority of the people who were talking). He did not feel safe sharing that he disagreed with these people. It’s not just that he didn’t feel like he would have close friendships with them; he felt physically unsafe admitting that he was one of a group that they talked about in the manner they did. I know I’m biased, but I believe that company lost a talented employee because of their work culture.
Mary Josephine, that type of conversation or response might get a lot of likes on social media, but I’d like to gently suggest that if you wish to make a point to someone who differs with your opinion, those types of comments are unproductive and detrimental to have at work because they are based on emotional opinions and demonization of the opposing viewpoint and can leave a long lasting bad taste to others when not well spoken.
When people disagree, if we want to engage with them, we must be mindful of what is really our goal?
If you encounter polar opposite viewpoints, you can only engage if you are willing to listen to what the other person has to say, and really listen.
The key about a crucial conversation is not winning an argument or getting your own way, but coming to a middle ground of understanding or helping the other person see a different point of view so that they may see they are not entirely right, and hopefully you realize that they are not entirely wrong. It also requires empathy and an open mind to truly understanding the opposing side’s relevant facts and interpretations.
Another important factor is our use of words, making certain we are absolutely accurate to state well with our words, sources, and fact checking ourselves, and not against sources that validate our own opinions, maybe taking time to check opposite fact sources, and don’t use sweeping generalizations when we speak.
If we are not willing to put in the time to understand others, we will never gain the respect to win anyone over to our point of view, or even halfway. If not, those argumentative discussions are best left for outside of work unless everyone you work with agrees with you. When you think other opinions than yours are worthless, it shows.