ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ron McMillan is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, I supervise a qualified employee with an attitude problem. She can easily do the work required of her and do it well—if she’s in the right mood. I have …

Dear Crucial Skills, What do you do when your supervisor moves a conversation into areas that you feel are none of your supervisor’s business? One day, my supervisor was looking at real estate online when I went into her office for a meeting. She joked about finding a house for me but then actually started …

Dear Crucial Skills, I was very surprised earlier this year to lose my job of 20 years as a registered nurse in a layoff. I had been repeatedly reassured that I would be safe earlier in the year. Is there anything I can be sure to bring up with a new employer to avoid this …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, I have a very direct and, you could say, brash way of talking. I have been told I talk like a New Yorker but I work in Salt Lake …

Dear Crucial Skills, Is it okay to admit you may not be ready to handle every crucial conversation? Recently, I had an incident that did not turn out well. An acquaintance approached me with a raised voice, inappropriate language and a pointed finger in a very public place. I immediately went to silence and could …

Dear Crucial Skills, What do you do about folks who absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their own behavior? One of my colleagues frequently behaves disrespectfully and even aggressively toward others—including myself. A number of us have spoken with him about his behavior. At times he’s defensive and denies the problem—but at other times he’ll …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Joseph Grenny is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, What do I do if a team member blames a family member for problems? We have someone who is on flex time to help with child care. A number …

Dear Crucial Skills, I’ve been mulling over how when we’re trying to be very careful about our words during a crucial conversation, our body language can sometimes send an entirely different message. I know we can be aware of our body language and keep it neutral, but what about our tone of voice, little noises …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ron McMillan is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE The following article was first published on August 31, 2005. Dear Crucial Skills, I suspect one of my direct reports (my assistant) has an issue with me that she is unwilling or unable to …

Dear Crucial Skills, I have been noticing lately that nearly every conversation I have with my fifteen-year-old daughter turns crucial very quickly. Innocent suggestions, requests for help, questions about school—many, many topics are too close to the skin for my daughter. And despite my best efforts to “start with heart” and “make it safe,” I …