ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is author of three bestselling books, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations. READ MORE   Dear Crucial Skills, Can you address nonverbal communication and ways to control sending messages that you do not intend? I often get feedback that it is my tone of voice rather than my message that …

Dear Crucial Skills, I have a problem at work involving a boss who is never satisfied. Our branch has the highest ratings possible and yet our annual letter from the boss always says, “I know we have the potential to be good.” This wording sounds as if we are not good now, despite having the …

Dear Crucial Skills, My husband’s parents are divorced. His dad didn’t talk to him or my sister-in-law for years and only began showing interest in them after my sister-in-law had kids. Even though my husband has tried to build a relationship with his dad, he often feels he is treated poorly or ignored. For example, …

Dear Crucial Skills, The new skills I learned from your training have been priceless to me. I regularly come away from conversations feeling proud of my own conduct, but I’m getting mixed reactions from others. I’m finding that even when I’m at my best people resist having crucial conversations with me. Sometimes my efforts are …

Dear Crucial Skills, I’ve worked in nonprofit organizations for many years and have both observed and participated in the telling of angel stories—essentially the opposite of villain stories. I see a pattern of supervisors excusing problematic behavior because the employee in question has a really good heart and, therefore, good intentions. It seems to be …

Dear Crucial Skills, I need help with an ongoing issue. My manager is very negative and nothing ever seems to be good enough for him. He doesn’t think anyone can “exceed expectations” in a performance review and gives me a very mediocre review whereas past managers gave stellar reviews. I try to discuss this issue …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Joseph Grenny is the author of three bestselling books, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, My youngest daughter lives several states away and it is difficult at best to have a conversation with her. Nearly all our communication comes via text messaging and e-mail. If this happened …

Dear Crucial Skills, My husband has been out of work for nearly fourteen months, and in that time has only filled out one employment application. He has made no effort to create a resume, and seems okay with me being the breadwinner—I work full-time as a RN—while he sits at home on the couch or …

Dear Crucial Skills, Many of us in our personal or professional lives have avoided crucial conversations, not just over weeks and months, but sometimes over years or even decades. How do we even begin to strategize about conversations that have been on the back burner for this long? Signed,Finally Speaking Up Dear Finally, I am …

During the month of July, we will run “best of” content from the authors. The following article first appeared on January 11, 2006. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Al Switzler is author of three bestselling books, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, I find myself in the uncomfortable position of “choking up” …