A member of the team I lead is convinced he’s an excellent worker, top performer, and unfairly overlooked for a promotion. The problem is none of that is true, but he refuses to accept this. He sometimes does great work but is inconsistent. He’s also often nowhere to be found, for hours at a time. How do I hold him accountable when his self-perception is so wildly different from reality? I ask all the right questions, but we still go in circles when we talk with me pointing out weaknesses and him claiming perfection.

I have been a legal secretary to a lawyer for more than 18 months. She used to stay on top of things, but recently she has become unmotivated and unresponsive. For example, I prepare letters for her review and deliver them early in the morning, but she doesn’t review them until 30 minutes before I’m due to leave the office, and then she wants me to get the letters sent out. I work full-time and have four children, and I have told her on several occasions that I cannot get letters finished that late in the day as I need to leave. I’ve tried letting her know early in the day what time I will be leaving and the deadline for getting letters to me, yet she continues to send requests at the last minute and then becomes snippy when I tell her I won’t get them done until the next day. I don’t know how to deal with her lack of motivation. What can I do?

Whenever my husband tells me things he doesn’t like that I do, I own it, say I’m sorry, and tell him I am determined to change it. If even ten minutes later I tell him I don’t like something he does, he’ll reply, “We really need to stop criticizing each other!”

I would appreciate it if he would own his behavior and validate my perspective, like I did for him. I feel like I’m trying to do what’s required to have a good relationship, but he doesn’t. What can I do?

I have a stubborn stepson who refuses to speak with his father. He thinks his father doesn’t love him, which is not so. What can I say to him so he’ll open up?

My mom continuously interrupts me when I’m speaking to her. She’ll sometimes finish my sentences, as if she knows what I’m thinking. Or she’ll start in with something that occurred to her based on something I’ve said. I’ve asked her to please allow me to finish and explained that when she interrupts, I feel disrespected. She didn’t take it well. Since then, I’ve sometimes gently reminded her, “Please, let me finish” and sometimes not so gently said, “How do you know what happened next?” Sometimes I just give up and let her do all the talking. She doesn’t seem to notice that our relationship is becoming, well, not much of a relationship. Any suggestions?

I’m a new member on a team. I find that when I wish my teammates good morning, they do not respond. Since I’m new and trying to learn, I occasionally ask questions of one of my teammates. When I do, she typically responds, “Go ask so-and-so,” rather than helping me. Another teammate cuts me off when I ask questions. I am unable to finish my question or ask clarifying questions. I need help communicating with this team. Any suggestions?

How do you start over with a colleague who does not like you, does not want to talk with you or work with you, and has gone out of their way to try to make you look bad on several occasions? I stopped speaking to this person six months ago, but I’d like to try to rebuild trust with this person. How do I even begin?