Dear Crucial Skills, I was very surprised earlier this year to lose my job of 20 years as a registered nurse in a layoff. I had been repeatedly reassured that I would be safe earlier in the year. Is there anything I can be sure to bring up with a new employer to avoid this …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, I have a very direct and, you could say, brash way of talking. I have been told I talk like a New Yorker but I work in Salt Lake …

Dear Crucial Skills, Is it okay to admit you may not be ready to handle every crucial conversation? Recently, I had an incident that did not turn out well. An acquaintance approached me with a raised voice, inappropriate language and a pointed finger in a very public place. I immediately went to silence and could …

Dear Crucial Skills, What do you do about folks who absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their own behavior? One of my colleagues frequently behaves disrespectfully and even aggressively toward others—including myself. A number of us have spoken with him about his behavior. At times he’s defensive and denies the problem—but at other times he’ll …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Joseph Grenny is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, What do I do if a team member blames a family member for problems? We have someone who is on flex time to help with child care. A number …

Dear Crucial Skills, I’ve been mulling over how when we’re trying to be very careful about our words during a crucial conversation, our body language can sometimes send an entirely different message. I know we can be aware of our body language and keep it neutral, but what about our tone of voice, little noises …

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ron McMillan is coauthor of four bestselling books, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE The following article was first published on August 31, 2005. Dear Crucial Skills, I suspect one of my direct reports (my assistant) has an issue with me that she is unwilling or unable to …

Dear Crucial Skills, I have been noticing lately that nearly every conversation I have with my fifteen-year-old daughter turns crucial very quickly. Innocent suggestions, requests for help, questions about school—many, many topics are too close to the skin for my daughter. And despite my best efforts to “start with heart” and “make it safe,” I …

Dear Crucial Skills, I can’t believe I’m asking this question, because it seems antithetical to everything you talk about in your books, but is it ever possible to have a crucial conversation over the phone? So many of us are working in “virtual” companies, where much of the day-to-day work is done in conference calls …

Dear Crucial Skills, I was wondering if you could share your insights on a perplexing issue: How can I devise a plan to creatively/effectively communicate with workers on shift (those who can’t attend regular face-to-face meetings with supervisors, all-hands meetings with plant managers, etc.)? Our managers/supervisors are finding it hard to have crucial conversations with …