As I reflect on the trainer certification programs I lead, I notice a common theme among new facilitators: fear. More specifically, fear about how to respond when a learner brings up a challenge that doesn’t fit neatly into the course material.

What do I do when someone feels stuck in a situation they can’t control?
How can I help them feel empowered?
Can I help them shift their mindset so they can apply the skills we’re teaching?

These are important questions—and they’re ones I hear regularly in our classrooms. Often, they sound something like this:

“I’m trying to engage with the challenge in front of me. But what do I do about the big stuff—the things that immediately overwhelm me? What if I don’t know what the outcome should be? What if I don’t have control over any of it?”

When I hear this, I like to ask a simple question in return: “Do you have a Problem or a Project on your hands?”

When It Hit Home

In 2018, my husband and I began noticing changes in our daughter, Sienna. She was slowing down—on the soccer field, on hiking trails, and even after an ordinary school day.

Sienna is a heart kid—born without a heart-lung connection. That fall, we visited her cardiologist, who confirmed she needed an intervention. On October 22, we admitted her to Children’s Hospital for a heart procedure in the cath lab.

Two hours later, the surgeon came out to deliver devastating news: he had to abort the procedure. The damage was more extensive than anticipated. He described her heart as a “ticking time bomb” and said she would need open-heart surgery. Soon.

Problems vs. Projects

I define Problems as situations where we feel we have little or no control. That moment felt like a textbook example.

In crisis, it’s natural to slip into a problem-focused mindset. Our thoughts became consumed by:

• We’ll need time off work—how will we manage financially?
• What about client deadlines?
• Sienna already struggles with school—how will she recover from a long absence?

Here’s the thing: that problem mindset, while instinctive, is also a choice.

The alternative? A project mindset—one that transforms a seemingly unmanageable situation into actionable outcomes.

Let’s define Projects as challenges that include a finish line—something we can control or at least influence. A project has clear steps. It gives us traction. And most importantly, it gives us hope.

What We Did

Sienna’s surgery was scheduled for December 5. My husband and I made a conscious choice to shift into a project mindset.

Instead of spinning in fear, we focused on what we could control. Our project list looked like this:

• Coordinate with the school so Sienna could miss a month without falling behind.
• Notify clients about our limited December availability and offer alternatives.
• Get our Christmas cards and annual family letter mailed by December 5.

The Results

Seven years later, Sienna is happy, healthy, and thriving.

And while we’ll never forget the fear of that time, we’re also deeply grateful for the mindset shift that got us through it. Choosing to focus on projects helped us feel empowered. It reduced emotional overwhelm and gave us a sense of purpose when everything else felt uncertain.

Bringing It Back to the Classroom

When our learners are faced with chaos, fear, or complexity, we can guide them to shift their mindset. Encourage them to first define outcomes they can achieve or influence. Then, help them apply the skills we teach to move forward productively.

So the next time someone asks, “What do I do with this?”—try asking them:
“Is this a Problem or a Project?”

Because mindset makes all the difference.