I’ve noticed lately that my friend isn’t giving me her full attention when I’m speaking. She will start the conversation, but when I’m discussing a point, her attention starts to wander. Sometimes she won’t even acknowledge what I’m saying. It feels like she wants to end the conversation while I’m still speaking. It’s very hurtful and it makes me feel like she does not value what I say. How can I get her to stop doing this?

How can you confront a manipulative roommate who has a way of talking their way out of situations and a history of gaslighting? I caught them stealing food from other roommates.

I have a new employee on my team who is very knowledgeable but shares her knowledge in a very know-it-all fashion. I’m concerned this will lead to a disconnect between her and the rest of the team. I want her to develop good relationships with our team members, but I’ve noticed that her tendency is driving people away. Some folks on my team have also noticed and let me know. How do I “coach” her? I’ve never had to coach to personality traits before. It’s so much easier to address poor performance or disrespect, but this? What can I do?

How do I help an employee become more organized and productive when she does not respond well to constructive criticism? We have talked about this several times, but I cannot seem to help her find a productive way of working. It’s almost like she enjoys being frantic and unproductive. Any suggestions?

How do you respectfully call someone out for bad manners in public?

I frequently find myself in situations where someone’s behavior goes against well-known norms or even common decency. I work with people who dive into their smartphones while in the middle of a conversation without excusing themselves. They will literally check out of the conversation they’re having with me in person, start texting someone, then resume the conversation with me as though nothing happened. I think this is quite rude.

Or, there are people who smoke at my community park where it’s clearly prohibited. And they play their music loudly. I know these behaviors aren’t exclusive to young people, but it seems it’s almost always young adults who are guilty. Has nobody taught them?

Every time something like this happens, I want to say something but don’t know how. I worry that speaking up will offend the person or lead to an argument or make matters worse, and yet I want to say something. I think our communities are better when people respect basic norms of, well, respect. Any suggestions?

I recently assumed the role of assistant nurse manager in a very busy procedural area of a hospital. I have learned that one of our technicians has been causing drama on the team for several years. Nurses have been known to cry because of her aggression and passive-aggressive behavior. Previous management didn’t know how to deal with her, as she incessantly denies accusations. How would you recommend I confront this person with a Crucial Conversation?

I’m the chair of an organization and someone on the board is leaking information. Someone made a derogatory comment about a person in a board meeting, and someone on the board told that person. I have addressed the issue of confidentiality before, so this is a violation of that expectation. Leaks like this undermine board trust and other relationships. How should I approach this?

Constructive criticism. I absolutely hate it and completely shut down when I hear it. It’s still criticism, however “constructive” the giver thinks it is. But I know it’s a popular thing to “give.” How can I overcome my aversion to it?

I’m a project manager and often hold meetings with my team to ensure tasks get completed on time and project timelines aren’t in jeopardy. Recently, one team member said he wasn’t going to meet his deadlines. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to call him out in front of everyone during the meeting, but I also didn’t want to let it slide. He has done this before. Any suggestions?

Dear Crucial Skills, How can I nudge my partner to start using some GTD® skills? Signed,Losing Patience Dear Losing Patience, Consider what nudging looks like in practice. To verbally nudge someone is to volley hints or suggestions but without directly addressing the issue or revealing how much you care about it. A nudge may get …