Crucial Conversations for Accountability Posts

Working with Sensitive, Emotional Employees

Dear Crucial Skills, How do you deal with sensitive employees who become overly emotional when held accountable? Signed,Tiptoeing Dear Tiptoeing, This is such a challenge! It’s the main reason people don’t hold others accountable—because they become emotional and defensive. Two questions I want to address: When I teach or coach leaders, I find that many …

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Addressing a Poor Listener

I’ve noticed lately that my friend isn’t giving me her full attention when I’m speaking. She will start the conversation, but when I’m discussing a point, her attention starts to wander. Sometimes she won’t even acknowledge what I’m saying. It feels like she wants to end the conversation while I’m still speaking. It’s very hurtful and it makes me feel like she does not value what I say. How can I get her to stop doing this?

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How to Coach a Know-It-All

I have a new employee on my team who is very knowledgeable but shares her knowledge in a very know-it-all fashion. I’m concerned this will lead to a disconnect between her and the rest of the team. I want her to develop good relationships with our team members, but I’ve noticed that her tendency is driving people away. Some folks on my team have also noticed and let me know. How do I “coach” her? I’ve never had to coach to personality traits before. It’s so much easier to address poor performance or disrespect, but this? What can I do?

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Kids These Days

How do you respectfully call someone out for bad manners in public?

I frequently find myself in situations where someone’s behavior goes against well-known norms or even common decency. I work with people who dive into their smartphones while in the middle of a conversation without excusing themselves. They will literally check out of the conversation they’re having with me in person, start texting someone, then resume the conversation with me as though nothing happened. I think this is quite rude.

Or, there are people who smoke at my community park where it’s clearly prohibited. And they play their music loudly. I know these behaviors aren’t exclusive to young people, but it seems it’s almost always young adults who are guilty. Has nobody taught them?

Every time something like this happens, I want to say something but don’t know how. I worry that speaking up will offend the person or lead to an argument or make matters worse, and yet I want to say something. I think our communities are better when people respect basic norms of, well, respect. Any suggestions?

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Speaking Up to Problem Employees

I recently assumed the role of assistant nurse manager in a very busy procedural area of a hospital. I have learned that one of our technicians has been causing drama on the team for several years. Nurses have been known to cry because of her aggression and passive-aggressive behavior. Previous management didn’t know how to deal with her, as she incessantly denies accusations. How would you recommend I confront this person with a Crucial Conversation?

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