Dear Joseph, I attend a church with a small congregation. One of our members sings at the top of her lungs and is very much off key. Always. She overpowers the rest of us. I have witnessed people plugging an ear or intentionally sitting farther away. It seems that something could or should be said …
Dear Joseph, I am on the leadership team of an organization that is in the beginning stages of a significant cultural change. In reflecting on the work in front of us, I realized that I do not trust the CEO to lead us through this change. This is a person I like and respect, but …
Dear Joseph, What responsibility does the receiver of an apology have in the healing of deep-seated hurt? I have felt alienated from my brother for eight years. We had a blowup (no one really remembers what it was about). He said some words that cut deeply into me. Then a couple of years later he …
Dear Joseph, My father often peppers his speech with declarations like “Obama is a Marxist” or “Eighty percent of Americans don’t pay taxes.” I can sometimes leave the conversation and look up details of what he calls “facts,” but in the moment I don’t have any tangible information; just a deep-rooted intuition that he is …
Dear Joseph, I was at a nail salon with my daughter, daughter-in-law, and my elderly mother. The salon was packed. We have used this salon many times in the past. They tend to manage their schedule well. A woman entered the salon and started yelling at one of the owners who was in the middle …
Dear Joseph, How do you have a crucial conversation when someone pulls rank and shuts down dialogue by saying something like, “Because I’m the boss!”? I’m in a situation where I would like to discuss better solutions, but when I do, the other person uses her authority to stop the conversation. Signed, Powerless Dear Powerless, …
Dear Joseph, One of the most important roles I have as a manager is to be sure my people are properly recognized for their contributions. I do that through verbal gratitude, annual reviews, monetary compensation, and at times, career advancement. I feel heartbroken these days because my hands are tied on the last two. I …
Dear Joseph, How do I get my roommates to clean up after themselves? They don’t seem to care about the mess they make and how dirty our house gets. I tried to talk to them about it but any attempt to reform their behavior only lasts a day or two. I end up being the …
Dear Joseph, I love my wife dearly and enjoy spending our dinners and late nights together after our long work days and putting the kids to sleep. However, I have learned after careful experimenting, over a few weeks now, that my wife has endless spunk, energy, and interest in telling me what is on her …
Dear Joseph, My company offers Crucial Conversations Training and it is mandatory for management. In spite of having gone through the training, some of my staff refuse to “play by the rules” as it were. What advice do you have for me? I am far from a perfect communicator, but I am absolutely sold on …
