Dear Crucial Skills, A while back, my wife asked if it would be okay with me if her 30-year-old son set up residence in the spare bedroom for three months until he got his own home. I thought that sounded fine. It’s now been three years and the lad is still there. My wife doesn’t …
Dear Crucial Skills, I have been practicing my crucial conversations skills and found I actually used one the other night with my sister. She expressed her resentment to me about failing to consult her on a crucial family decision regarding our father’s health. Being a graduate of Crucial Conversations, I immediately recognized that I had …
Dear Kerry, In Master My Stories II, the Humanizing Question is “Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person do this?” Asking this question is often helpful in turning villains to humans and assuming the best in others. But what if the answer to the Humanizing Question is that this is not a reasonable, rational …
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Emily Moss is a Master Trainer and Senior Director of Client Training and Employee Development at VitalSmarts. READ MORE Dear Crucial Skills, I recently got a call from the head of another department. He asked me, “Why are the analysts afraid to ask you for a work product?” I tried to build …
Dear Crucial Skills, I am the eldest of six siblings. We grew up in a judgemental atmosphere and avoided confrontation, so “triangulation” occurs frequently. NO one, parents included, is willing to address the issues, but they are always willing to share it with the person whom they think will help fix it–that would be me. …
Dear Crucial Skills, I am a nursing supervisor in a nursing home. Most of our patients are white and most of our staff is non-white. Our staff is frequently subjected to vile, racist treatment and remarks by our patients. Naturally, this creates a very difficult working situation. Our staff provides quality care day after day …
Dear Crucial Skills, Could you please help me understand the practical use of the crucial accountability skill “CPR” for front-line supervisors on a manufacturing floor? It seems somewhat abstract to them when dealing with specific violations and our progressive discipline procedure. Signed, Real World Dear Real World, I’d love to help. CPR is a skill …
The following article was first published on October 5, 2005. Dear Crucial Skills, I manage a large staff of around seventy nurses. How do I begin to change the culture from no accountability to full accountability? We are not speaking of the patient care aspects—the staff is outstanding in this area. I’m concerned about everything …
ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kerry Patterson is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers, Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, and Influencer. READ MORE Dear Authors, My boss was promoted five months ago to an executive level position and I was promoted to his previous position as a Department Manager. He continues to give assignments to …
Dear Authors, I recently took a new position as a specialist reporting to the VP of HR, who doesn’t have much specific knowledge about the regulations that affect my job. My predecessor, whom I’ll call “Brian,” was promoted to another department. He is generally well liked and is viewed by everyone—including my boss—as having done …