Women, men, it doesn’t matter – being aggressive in the workplace is going to cost you money, authority and reputation, according to a new study from Crucial Learning, a learning company with courses in communication, performance, and leadership.
And these findings don’t just point to an increased call for civility, they also indicate promising signs of equalization between the way men and women are perceived in the workplace.
In 2016, a similar study from Crucial Learning found that women who spoke forcefully in the workplace experienced more of a social backlash than their male counterparts. Yet following prominent social movements calling for equity and fairness over the last few years, in a follow-up study conducted in October 2023, both male and female respondents rated men more negatively for their aggressiveness, indicating a shift in the way we perceive gender at work.
“Many of us have hoped that increased attention on the bias women face in the workplace would lead to greater equality,” said Emily Gregory, researcher and coauthor of Crucial Conversations. “Of course, inequalities still exist, but our results suggest society may be starting to hold men accountable to the same standard as women in the workplace when it comes to aggressive behavior.”
In the study (click here for full data report), respondents were asked to watch a short video clip of a man or woman expressing concerns about a project in a meeting with a group of their peers. The person in each video either expressed their concerns calmly and respectfully, or loudly and aggressively, while all having the same script. Respondents each saw one of the clips (male or female, neutral or aggressive) and answered questions about their feelings towards the actor’s demeanor.
Respondents penalized both the man and woman in the aggressive videos in areas of status, competency, and perceived value, or how much salary they believed the person deserved compared to the neutral videos. For example, the aggressive man lost almost $8,000 in perceived salary value compared to his neutral counterpart.
In an open-ended survey question, respondents were asked to provide three adjectives to describe the video subject. The adjectives used to describe the man in the videos were more negative than those used to describe the woman; for example, among the top five words used to describe each, no negative adjectives were used for the woman (assertive, direct, determined, strong, confident) while three of the five used for the man were negative (stubborn, aggressive and rude along with passionate and determined).
In addition, the less control a respondent believed the video subject had, the lower they rated the subject across all measures, including competency, status, leadership ability and perceived value.
“Being civil isn’t the same as being passionless,” said Nancy Smith, researcher and vice president at Crucial Learning. “You can advocate strongly for your beliefs as long as you’re in control. It’s those men and women who can exhibit passion without aggression who will find more listening ears than those with less civility.”
About Crucial Learning
Crucial Learning improves the world by helping people improve themselves. We offer courses in communication, performance, and leadership, focusing on behaviors that have a disproportionate impact on outcomes, called crucial skills. Our award-winning courses and accompanying bestselling books include Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue, Crucial Conversations® for Accountability, Crucial Influence®, The Power of Habit™, and Getting Things Done®. CrucialLearning.com.