Here’s a moment that trainers and facilitators likely know very well.

You’re in front of a great group of participants, all of your examples seem to be landing, and you feel like everyone is engaged in the conversation. People are beginning to have those lightbulb moments of how they can apply the concepts to their work. And then a hand goes up.

“I get what you’re saying, but I just don’t think that will ever work with my boss.”

Or maybe, “We’ve tried that, it doesn’t work here.”

You feel a shift in the room.

What is your first response to encountering pushback? Do you get defensive? Do you feel like you need to convince them that this concept will work no matter the situation? Do you panic, fearing that they may derail the entire session? All of these thoughts are valid. You could try to explain the concept again. Offer another example or simply find a polite way to move on.

But, what if the most useful response is to get curious? Ask yourself, “What could I be missing about their experience?” 

As we approach Thanksgiving, I’ve been thinking about the people who make us better at what we do. For trainers, that list probably includes mentors, colleagues, and the participants who show up ready to learn.

I’d suggest we make room for one more: the participant who pushes back.

Pushback might feel like an attack on the material or even on your credibility as a trainer. I’m not suggesting that every objection or all pushback is helpful. And we certainly don’t want all of our sessions to be filled with debate. But these moments can give us an opportunity to practice something we spend a lot of time encouraging our participants to do – notice our reactions, question our assumptions, and choose a more productive response.

Turn Pushback into Practice

So how do you turn pushback into the possibility for learning and growth? As mentioned, one of the best ways is to get curious. Answer the question with a question. Here are a few you might consider having in your back pocket when faced with this type of pushback.

• What have you tried so far?
• What response were you hoping for?
• What’s one thing you could approach differently next time?

Or if time allows and you want to go deeper or address something more specific try:

• Given what you described, which part of this approach would be hardest to use?
• What’s one thing you might do differently, even if the other person’s response doesn’t change?

These questions might not change someone’s circumstances, but they can help a skeptical learner move from a conclusion to a more thoughtful examination of options. Questions can shift the classroom discussion from proving whether the material works and toward examining what the learner can influence. And this type of conversation can also give other participants something useful to consider or even contribute.

Consider opening up the discussion and inviting other learners to share their experiences with those situations or expound on challenges they may be having. And don’t underestimate the power of being vulnerable yourself. You can even admit that there are some concepts you’re still working to apply.

The learner who questions an example might help us explain it more clearly next time. The person who describes a difficult workplace situation might remind us that application is rarely as tidy as a classroom exercise. The skeptic who isn’t easily persuaded might challenge us to listen more carefully instead of relying on another explanation.

As trainers and facilitators, we aren’t exempt from the challenges we help others to navigate. We experience them in real time, sometimes in the middle of facilitating a course. We won’t handle every interaction perfectly and we won’t win over ever skeptic we encounter. But perhaps that’s part of what makes facilitating so valuable. It’s often the participants who challenge us the most that give us the opportunity to practice what we teach and help us to become better at what we do.

This November, as you reflect on what you’re thankful for, remember the participants who make facilitating a joy. But don’t forget the ones who challenge your patience and make you work a little harder. After all, some of the most valuable lessons we learn in life come from where we least expect them.